That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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