Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
