My nipple is on Facebook.
Where is the hickey?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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