I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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