That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
