I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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