so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize