I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
