Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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