summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
