he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
