end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Will exercising make me less horny?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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