he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
