Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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