so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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