Sober January is a disaster.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
