i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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