trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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