i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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