she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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