the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
