sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
