We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She bit a glass in half.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
