Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
