dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
