Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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