stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
