So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
