He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
