She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
