What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
