Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
