it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
