I'm drive I can fine osifer
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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