cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
