the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
