my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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