I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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