Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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