So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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