He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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