in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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