how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
