I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Too much gin, very little bucket
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
