Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
