IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
