i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
