can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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