She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
