Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize