i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
BRING THE BAGELS
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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