I am puke
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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