Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
