I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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