I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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