Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's blow job season.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
True college students do jello shots in the library
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
