Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
