Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
