New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
