I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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