then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
