3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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