Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
