You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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