you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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