Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
