you guys were way drunker than both of me
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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