If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
