no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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