White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
