It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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