Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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